Re: INFINITE LIFE more options Author: Steve Keppel-Jones author profile Email: stevekj@bnr.ca Date: 1998/08/05 view thread Forums: alt.fan.publius, soc.culture.usa, alt.atheism, alt.fan.gene-scott, sci.anthropology more headers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [We rejoin the Red Iguana and his faithful sidekick, Ferret Boy, as they try to press the Pubemobile into service.] Ferret Boy : There, I think that's got it. Get in. In article <6pqmfn$11os@navajo.gate.net>, Publius wrote: > How many stars are there in our Universe? Ferret Boy : I don't know, but why does that matter? We have a job to do, don't we, Publius? We have to go and get the Evil Atheists (hack, hack, cough, spit). > I understand Ferret Boy : Good. >there are an >unimaginably great number: hundreds of billions times hundreds of >billions. Ferret Boy : Oh no! How are we going to take on that many Evil Atheists (hack, hack, cough, spit) all by ourselves? > How is it that there is "Life" on this planet, orbiting just one of the >stars? Is it because of some primordial chemical accident? A fluke? >A one-time event, not duplicated anywhere else in this Universe - or >any other possible Universe? Ferret Boy : I don't know. How is that going to help us find the Evil Atheists? Maybe if I switch on the Auto-McElwainizer it'll help. [Ferret Boy switches on the Auto-McElwainizer. The Pubemobile's lights dim and the engine revs up a bit.] Ferret Boy : This is a much more powerful Auto-McElwainizer than we had in the last Pubemobile. > Whatever theorizing 'scientists' do about the origin of "Life", they >must limit themselves to possible causes that are explainable according >to the Laws of Physics and Chemistry. Conjecturing about super-natural >causes is just not "scientific" - and out-of-bounds. It seems there >really can be only one theory: A chemical reaction in a fortuitous >environment started it all. Pubemobile : CHEMICAL REACTION discovered in ENVIRONMENT! SCIENTISTS have THEORIZED that the ORIGIN of LIFE is limited to POSSIBLE CAUSES! These CAUSES are totally EXPLAINABLE according to the LAWS of PHYSICS and CHEMISTRY! This HIGHLY IMPORTANT information is NOT a CONJECTURE! There are NO SUPER-NATURAL CAUSES! WIDESPREAD DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT INFORMATION is ENCOURAGED! Ferret Boy : Wow, that works great, huh, Publius? > Now, how about "Life" elsewhere in our Universe? Is it "unscientific" >to assume the probability - let's go all-out, the certainty - that "Life" >exists elsewhere? Pubemobile : LIFE DISCOVERED ELSEWHERE in our UNIVERSE with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY! > If we look beyond our closed system, we are forced to imagine all >kinds of possibilities: Can "Life" manifest itself elsewhere with an >entirely different metabolic system than ours? If so, that would >really multiply the chances of "Life" elsewhere. Pubemobile : ALL KINDS of POSSIBILITIES of LIFE are -- Ferret Boy : Geez, that's kind of loud. Here, let me turn it down a bit. [fiddles with a knob on the Auto-McElwainizer] Pubemobile : -- MANIFested elsewhere [quieter] with an *entirely different* metabolic [whispering now] system! Ferret Boy : No, this isn't really making any more sense than before. [He shuts off the Auto-McElwainizer.] > Here's a switch: Ferret Boy : Yes, that's the Anti-Nomologizer enable switch. Don't switch it on! [Publius ignores him and switches on the Anti-Nomologizer.] > We know that "Life" is moving along a "Vector" >away from its single cell beginning to ever more complex forms. Pubemobile : No it isn't. >Why? What is the driving force? A kind of Ego? Pubemobile : No, a kind of Id. > We, the most advanced form of "Life" here, Pubemobile : No, we aren't. Ferret Boy : [irritated] I told you not to switch that on! [switches it off] > with our Intellect and >more: the ability to look at 'the big picture' through abstract thought, >should have some idea of the apparent 'purpose' of "Life". Ferret Boy : You still aren't making any sense. Maybe the newly rebuilt Auto-Mozumderizer will help. [He fiddles around with some more controls on the dashboard.] Pubemobile : The Purpose of Life is love. Life is a Religion. You will be Assimilated. Ferret Boy : Hmm... maybe... > It >might be only to advance itself from us to a being as superior to us >as we are to the ape. And then, what?? Pubemobile : I am Superior. You will accept my Basic Premise. You will -- [The Auto-Mozumderizer hisses and crackles. Sparks fly. Tendrils of smoke appear.] Ferret Boy : Oh no! It's shorting out! Don't say anything else, Publius! > If "Life" is a "Force", a "Living" and therefor a "Willful Force", what >obstacle does it have toward achieving its ultimate goal, its ultimate >configuration, having the entire Universe and untold numbers of >other Universes to operate in? Pubemobile : [crackle] I will Force you to Live by [crackle] my Will. [spark] [smoke] The Universe is Love. [pop] [hiss] [BANG!] Ferret Boy : Damn. I guess I didn't have it configured just right. I wonder what the ultimate configuration would be. > "Ultimate Configuration"! Perish the >thought! Ferret Boy : Yes, I'm starting to think that way myself. We may just have to do without any Auto-Mozumderizing. > That sounds very much like a synonym for the word "God"! Ferret Boy : No, it's just a synonym for a machine that Mozumderizes... > And I've been able to say all this without deviating al all from the >'scientific discipline'. Ferret Boy : But, Publius, we still haven't found the Evil Atheists (hack, hack, cough, spit)! How are we going to do that? > I've just given the "Force" idea of Western >Physics a new dimension. Ferret Boy : Great! I always knew you could, O Defender of the Faith. >PUBLIUS at [What will our heroes do next? Can they manage without the Auto- Mozumderizer? What other tricks does the Pubemobile have up its sleeve? And when will the Dynamic Duo get around to finding the Evil Atheists (hack, hack, cough, spit)? Tune in next time and see!] Steve