From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: PRELUDE TO RED IGUANA DAWN (5 of 5) McDonalds
Date: 14 Mar 1994 15:06:45 GMT
Message-ID: <2m1ui5INNbut@CS.UTK.EDU>

Here's the final post of the prelude.  Now I can begin
the process of posting the Red Iguana Dawn series.

----
Re: WHY I AM HERE (McDonalds)

"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"

In article <2kass2$ts3@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
|>   Let me tell you how it happened that I began posting 'alt.atheism':

"Huh?"

|>   It will be a little long but not as long as some of the ravings
|>   thrown around by individuals who are probably 13-year-olds
|>   free-loading on 'edu' computers because their father is a professor.

"Ah, maybe you wanna look at the menu.  It's
 right up there, on the wall.  You want a Big
 Mac Meal?  It's a good price."

|>   Early this year I got an entry-level Mac ccomputer to do word
|>   processing.

"Uh, I mean the hamburger."

|>   But then, I read more and more about the wonders of
|>   Internet and the possibility of accessing research data. So, bought
|>   some books on Internet and Unix and waded through the techno-gibberish
|>   while installing a first-class modem and communication software.

"Yeah, whatever.  Do you wanna order something
 or not?"

Irritated customer:  "Hey, hurry up and order!"

"They can take you at the next register, ma'am."

Irritated customer:  "Good."

|>   What really pushed me into this was the fact that a new Internet
|>   Host had been installed in our area with a reasonable fixed monthly 
|>   price for the service.

"Are you going to order?"

|>   Anyway, there I was (about 18 Jan) ready to 'login' for the first
|>   time. It is one thing to do all this with someone coaching you, but    
|>   another to do it this way. It was really a thrill to successfully
|>   'login'.

(Publius nudges the clerk in a chummish manner)
"Hey, watcha doing?"

|>   The easiest thing to do now was to look overthe Usenet Groups and 
|>   I started with 'alt' and there was 'alt.atheism' so I pressed the
|>   right buttons and there it was!

(Clerk, resignedly...)
"Let me guess, because you're an atheist, right?"

|>   At that time I think there were only about one-third the postings
|>   there are now but you can imagine my surprise - my shock - just
|>   reading the Headings. And when I began reading the contents I became
|>   furious at this low-class polution of Internet. Talk about "casting
|>   pearls before swine" I said to myself.

"No, talk about hamburgers, fries, coke, and food,
 man!  Look, just order something, alright?"
(Police officer enters the store... clerk
motions to him)

|>   Then I began to pray:"Dear Father, help me figure out how to
|>   break it off in those nogoodniks!" and the answer came right via
|>   the original Internet - the Holy Spirit it called among those
|>   who have the access code: "You've read the Book of Job and you
|>   know all about the Faustian Myth. You've run into the same problem
|>   Job and Faust had. You stumbled into one of the Action Points of
|>   Satan, the God of the Physican Universe. You know - he's always 
|>   conning my Children into selling their Souls for some Earthly
|>   Ego Trip. Come on! You know how to handle this!"

"Look, man, you're holding up the line.  Just
 tell me what you want!"

(The policeman edges closer...)
Policeman:  "Hey, buddy.  You gonna answer the
 guy?  It ain't polite to ignore people,
 especially when you are in their place a
 business, ya know?"

|>   And that is how I was inspired to write the posting:"Atheism is
|>   a Religion . . ." The rest is History. A continuingly developing
|>   History, I hasten to add.

Policeman:  "Very touching.  Come on, pal, let's
 go dry out..."

"Next?  Welcome to McDonalds, may I..."

|>                              Don't go crazy yet - PUBLIUS

-- 
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                            |
  | The mysterious UNIX paradigm:              |
  |                                            |
  |   "No design is better than a bad design." |
  |                             - Ken Thompson |
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