Red Iguana Dawn
Prelude (5 of 5): McDonalds
From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: PRELUDE TO RED IGUANA DAWN (5 of 5) McDonalds
Date: 14 Mar 1994 15:06:45 GMT
Message-ID: <2m1ui5INNbut@CS.UTK.EDU>
Here's the final post of the prelude. Now I can begin
the process of posting the Red Iguana Dawn series.
Re: WHY I AM HERE (McDonalds)
"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"
In article <2kass2$ts3@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
|> Let me tell you how it happened that I began posting 'alt.atheism':
"Huh?"
|> It will be a little long but not as long as some of the ravings
|> thrown around by individuals who are probably 13-year-olds
|> free-loading on 'edu' computers because their father is a professor.
"Ah, maybe you wanna look at the menu. It's
right up there, on the wall. You want a Big
Mac Meal? It's a good price."
|> Early this year I got an entry-level Mac ccomputer to do word
|> processing.
"Uh, I mean the hamburger."
|> But then, I read more and more about the wonders of
|> Internet and the possibility of accessing research data. So, bought
|> some books on Internet and Unix and waded through the techno-gibberish
|> while installing a first-class modem and communication software.
"Yeah, whatever. Do you wanna order something
or not?"
Irritated customer: "Hey, hurry up and order!"
"They can take you at the next register, ma'am."
Irritated customer: "Good."
|> What really pushed me into this was the fact that a new Internet
|> Host had been installed in our area with a reasonable fixed monthly
|> price for the service.
"Are you going to order?"
|> Anyway, there I was (about 18 Jan) ready to 'login' for the first
|> time. It is one thing to do all this with someone coaching you, but
|> another to do it this way. It was really a thrill to successfully
|> 'login'.
(Publius nudges the clerk in a chummish manner)
"Hey, watcha doing?"
|> The easiest thing to do now was to look overthe Usenet Groups and
|> I started with 'alt' and there was 'alt.atheism' so I pressed the
|> right buttons and there it was!
(Clerk, resignedly...)
"Let me guess, because you're an atheist, right?"
|> At that time I think there were only about one-third the postings
|> there are now but you can imagine my surprise - my shock - just
|> reading the Headings. And when I began reading the contents I became
|> furious at this low-class polution of Internet. Talk about "casting
|> pearls before swine" I said to myself.
"No, talk about hamburgers, fries, coke, and food,
man! Look, just order something, alright?"
(Police officer enters the store... clerk
motions to him)
|> Then I began to pray:"Dear Father, help me figure out how to
|> break it off in those nogoodniks!" and the answer came right via
|> the original Internet - the Holy Spirit it called among those
|> who have the access code: "You've read the Book of Job and you
|> know all about the Faustian Myth. You've run into the same problem
|> Job and Faust had. You stumbled into one of the Action Points of
|> Satan, the God of the Physican Universe. You know - he's always
|> conning my Children into selling their Souls for some Earthly
|> Ego Trip. Come on! You know how to handle this!"
"Look, man, you're holding up the line. Just
tell me what you want!"
(The policeman edges closer...)
Policeman: "Hey, buddy. You gonna answer the
guy? It ain't polite to ignore people,
especially when you are in their place a
business, ya know?"
|> And that is how I was inspired to write the posting:"Atheism is
|> a Religion . . ." The rest is History. A continuingly developing
|> History, I hasten to add.
Policeman: "Very touching. Come on, pal, let's
go dry out..."
"Next? Welcome to McDonalds, may I..."
|> Don't go crazy yet - PUBLIUS
--
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
| |
| The mysterious UNIX paradigm: |
| |
| "No design is better than a bad design." |
| - Ken Thompson |
|____________________________________________|
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